Why the Angkasawan Inspires Me
Malaysia’s first spaceflight partici… sorry, astronaut, is truly an inspiration to all
By Chan Siew Lian
It’s a small step for me, but a great leap for the Malaysian people.
Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor, Malaysia’s first cosmonaut
I am so proud of Malaysia’s first astronaut. Not only does he look like a GQ model in every press shot (darned that inflatable suit for hiding his six-pack!), he actually looks stunningly at ease too. What confidence! I mean, with zero experience in space, has he considered the remote possibility that if something goes wrong with the rocket, and on perchance, some fat, ugly aliens decide to rescue only his colleagues, he’d have to manoeuvre the damn thing to safety, all by himself?
Swoon. Truly, Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor—or Dr SMS, as the press have endeared him—is a hero, a man clearly ahead of his league of over 11,000 hopefuls to be Malaysia’s first angkasawan. While a lesser man might fidget and fry under the immense spotlight, Dr SMS has proven time and again that he has not only what it takes to be a national icon, an inspiration to Malaysians young and old, a name worthy to be slapped unto a new roti canai; he is, ultimately, the reason for science to exist.
ROCKET SCIENCE
As Prime Minister Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi says, “Our angkasawan will go to schools and interact with students and answer their questions, all the while encouraging and motivating them to reach for much, much more.” Even before returning to Earth, however, a news article has reported that “[t]wenty four schoolchildren were motivated to study harder” after speaking with Malaysia’s first astronaut via radio on Monday. What influence! And who could possibly be a better candidate than Dr SMS? Being an astronaut is cool enough; being an astronaut plus a doctor and a model—that is wayyyy cool. Imagine the chicks you could get with those credentials! That’s certainly inspiration for boys to get their fingers burnt once in a while over a penunu Bunsen.
And how about the girls? Dr SMS might just have singlehandedly increased the number of grade As for females enrolled in the science stream in secondary schools. Think about it: Parents whose daughters are struggling in Physics, and who fear that their little princesses will cut their wrists if they are banned from excessive Friendster, only need to present them with a life-sized cut out of Dr SMS smiling in space and giving the thumbs-up sign, with the headline, “Majulah Sains untuk Negara”. That’d keep their noses in the textbooks for sure. Of course, these are also emotional years, and such motivation could quickly backfire. The idea that 16 times a day, Dr SMS traverses the skies above darkangel92 who already finds great difficulty reading her Biology textbook, could be as distracting as the young lass refreshing Facebook every 60 seconds to see if someone has poked her. Alas, literature is replete with tragic tales of unrequited love. Ouch.
SPACEMAN ANONYMOUS
As Dr SMS spreads the rendang love in space, cyberspace has been doing its own brand of roasting. Dr SMS was dissected in blogs and chatrooms when NASA refused to call him an “astronaut”, instead referring to him as a “spaceflight participant”, the exact term reserved for space tourists. What cosmic snobs! Dr SMS, we are assured by the Russians, is a bona fide astronaut, or cosmonaut, having completed more than a year’s training in Moscow’s Star City together with backup Dr Faiz Khaleed. And lest we imagine that qualifying to be a “spaceflight participant” is as easy as we think, you need to be in excellent shape, not have too many tooth fillings as this could jeopardise the training, and own some USD$30 million to burn in rocket fuel. Which, I suppose, can be fixed with a disciplined Atkins diet and a torrid love affair with the Sultan of Brunei.
With that official international recognition, hallelujah! That’s one more achievement for Dr SMS’ CV, snuggling alongside “orthopaedic surgeon”, “part-time model”, and “restaurant partner”. Oh, and we mustn’t forget, “the reason for science to exist”.
At the very least, Dr SMS has inspired me. Heck, I’m so exuberant I could even do some math! As the facts go, in 2003 the Malaysian Government paid RM3.4 billion for 18 Russian-made Sukhoi fighter jets. Apart from being an amount that reads ridiculously like the GDP of a small nation, guess what they got free? A historic trip to space! Or looking at it another way, one could say that Malaysia paid RM3.4 billion for a space trip and—by golly!—got 18 Russian-made Sukhoi fighter jets free. In per capita terms, it means that the Government invested RM136 to inspire each of Malaysia’s 25 million inhabitants.
If that doesn’t inspire you, shame on you for wasting the Government’s money. For RM3.4 billion, Malaysia beefed up its air force, became the 38th country to send a person into space and found opportunities to explore how spinning gasing works in zero gravity. Sure, there are still 75,000 drug addicts, 57,000 people with HIV and 65,000 reported cases of motorcycle theft in Malaysia. But who’s to say that those numbers would change had the money been pumped into efficient drug treatments, AIDS awareness programmes or crime prevention initiatives? Or if that’s too hard, how about better roads, better toilets and better decision-makers?
Or are such ordinary ideas a few too many light years away?